'You Are NOT My Sunshine' • Cash & Dylan w/ Sue

An unintended story. Perhaps a fitting 'bad' tribute to lost love & 'bad' ex-husbands.. for all dirtbags everywhere ... Pour vous... Cash, Dylan & me....woo-hoo, hoot n toot n here we go :)

Intended as the happy song my mother taught me as a child. Great guitars, powerful vocals by Johnny Cash, Dylan I only heard once in awhile.... It was Cash, the 'Boy named Sue' that carried Dylan & I in this tune.

However, this 'collaboration' mix had a few interesting twists. Firstly, I never knew all the words to the entire song until now. It's not a happy song at all, but a love gone wrong sad song true to life. I stuck out my determined stupid chin and thought I could twang it with Johnny.... at the start was so-so ok but that second verse where he belts out 'I always loved you' & 'make you happy'. . . . I cracked, my voice cracked, I even sang choking out laughs...

'You have left me to love another, You have shattered all my dreams'

I don't know what possessed me to mess that up by joining in,.... cause I knew I'd not be able to twang it in Cash's style.... That was NOT the plan.... Same with the guitar parti I jumped into.... NOT according to plan.... By the end of the song..... I was so sick of it I was deflated & the finish went badly. Then I realized, it's all ok... Cause its a lyin cheatin song about a stupid man that "will never know" . . . Thus It's aptly re-titled 'NOT' my sunshine since it's my track & I can name it whatever I feel is appropriate. :)

One final twist is that I thought I'd made peace with all that, but my reaction in doing this song sounds otherwise. In hindsight, it's been therapeutic in a way, but not the sort of song I care to perfect. It's gonna ride as is, sour note finish et al as a commentary to the lyin cheatin disappointment of a person he turned out to be.

At first learning of the circumstances, I blamed myself for working 90-hrs / week on a grueling Vaccine R&D facility start-up & operations to launch a new product with a dedicated team of great scientists. Now I feel this cover sourness is appropriate & exactly what the man deserves for being so character flawed. The amount of time I spent on that project was justified because it was a pneumonia vaccine with extra serotypes to protect infants from dying.... I'd do that 13v project again in a heartbeat whereas I cannot say the same for that marriage.

I was awake early ~5am to get to an early dental appointment before 8am workday started. I answered an early call to my husband's cell phone so the ringer would not disturbed his sleep. In doing so, I noticed all sorts of informative texts messages & pix to/from him & an unknown woman. Hmmmm, what to do!? I decided to not be rash in jumping to an obvious conclusion, thought I'd think on it awhile. Went to dentist, & to work to my 'normal' back-to-back-insanity-of-aggressive-timeline-facility/operations-meetings.

By mid-afternoon I went to my office for a break, & pick up my cell phone to review the morning message I'd for we'd to myself from this unknown woman. Just then my colleague Joe walked in with one of his sob stories, crying about how two of my staff scientists were apparently hogging a particular pump/ vessel which impacted his /our automation schedule...

Poor Joe.. said something like "what are you gonna do about this problem?"

Joe was at the proverbial wrong place, at precisely the wrong time. I simply looked at Joe while he was just getting seated, as I said something along the lines of:

"I don't give a hoot what pumps/ vessel problem(s) your/ my staff might have, tell them to PLAY NICE & work it out themselves!!! I have a more pressing problem in that this morning...Yada Yada... I found this cell MSG... Now, you tell me what am I supposed to do with this crap????"

Joe went from Mr. Crybaby to Mr. Compassion in a heartbeat. I knew he was moved by my words/ situaion... As I truly was at a loss for what to think, say, or do. Thus, unbeknownst to Joe he helped immensely in my deliberation over what to do.... do I go face it now or wait as late as possible, or worse, never menton it. It was Joe's feedback in his immediate gut-reaction style (only Joe is famous for in meetings) that helped me face this crisis...

Cause Joe said "don't wait, the sooner, the better" Best advice ever. Joe left my office on the condition that I immediately go home to deal with this mess. Thanks, Joe! I suppose that's why you had leadership of that logic based automation staff, huh :)

Before leaving my office, I typed a text note to The Woman... but didn't send it until I got home & saw my husband's car in the garage. As I entered the kitchen I pressed "send" on my cell, invited Kenny for a soda break, and answered his question "why are you home so early?" In narrative, non accusatory style to invite a reasonable explanation from him. He gave what is best described as an "unreasonable" explanation as to how this policewoman that was on the same emergency response as he & his ambulance, the two of them had some 'follow-up ' case work paperwork that required attention. Hmmm, according to our cell phone records that attention spanned approximately Jan-Jun timeframe. . . That's a heap of paperwork!!!

Oddly, my husband reacted by being extremely angry with me for uncovering his infidelity. I didn't care about that per se as much as the breach of trust. Hence, I told him it seemed forgivable, fixable if we wanted us to continue the marriage. He was dumbfounded, & continued to be angry. Now it was time to get some dinner, so we decided to go out for pizza & a change of scenery... since we were both tapped out on that topic.

As we're were headed out the door, the phone rang & I answered it. It was The Woman calling my husband regarding my cell text message " Hi, I'm his wife & would appreciate you leaving him alone." ....in realizing who I was she apologized profusely saying she's a decent policewoman that doesn't date married men... My husband had told her he's divorced, she said in obvious distress. My contribution to the conversation was minimal, still he realized who I was speaking with and in his angry tone "insisted I not be rude." Hmmm....it seemed an odd remark, I realized he must be expecting a big reaction on my part. I'm way past hormonal days, & much too old for useless drama. At the end of that conversation, & in a subsequent message she supposedly dumped him. I don't think he ever got past his initial anger, some effort was made, but it was clear that our marriage had no future. A sad realization to accept... As apparently this song shows... LOL I can do a better cover of it, but will refrain from offering 'proof.'

Early this year when I got around to finally looking at FB again, after ~4 years of it sitting idle... I noticed that as my FB friend Kenny had a page covered photos of him & a woman in various poses... One of which was them kissing at New Years. I was with a friend who said... "Wow, Check it out...Would ya look at that!!!" ....without batting an eyelash, I said "oh, honey. .. I've got one of those New Year's kiss pix too, & it's absolutely worthless." We laughed. And so "as the world turns, " just as if a page from a soap opera. . . . Some things never change.


Perhaps I'm not as 'big hearted' a person in forgiveness as I once thought. At least I do have peace in knowing it's long been resolved.

'Volez-vous coucher aver moi ce sois?' Nah, gotta pass. . . .
. . . but could be a potential cloud cover. LOL

In the end, all is well. No worries. I had fun with Cash & Dylan. :)
Thanks guys, hats off to these two greats!!!

Guys (JC & BD), You ARE my Sunshine!!!
Give 'em a listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpsq8N2Src8&sns=em
:) & all ears SMILE now ya, hear!!!!!!!!!