The One That Got Away

I always find Katy Perry a bit of a disappointment. I remember I Kissed A Girl coming out and I was like "well this is an awful novelty song, she's got one hit wonder written all over her". And then she "dropped" Hot N Cold and it was completely amazing. So after that I had high hopes for Katy Perry as a pop entity, but subsequent releases turned out to be pretty dreadful, so I kind of gave up on her.

Then the other day I was watching a thing (junior beach volleyball highlights from Skegness, for work, excitingly) and they were playing The One That Got Away in the background, and I realised it was a pretty amazing chorus. So I went and listened to the rest of the song, and it turned out to be no good. The verses are ok, the chorus is good, but the bridge is completely non-existent, 20 seconds of "this'll do" filler, and then it just kind of doesn't go anywhere, a few choruses, some oh oh oh-ing and then it's over.

It made me think that somewhere beneath all of everything, was a better song trying to get out. So I decided that I would change it round and make a version that I wanted to listen to.

I got rid of the bridge first of all, because it was awful, and replaced it with a spoken word section, because spoken word sections in pop songs are always amazing. I then made sure that the chorus changes at the end, so that there is some reason to carry on listening that far.

I kept the opening line, though, because it is amazing. "We made out in your Mustang to Radiohead" is by no means a Great Pop Lyric, but it's a uniquely irritating one, and sometimes that's just as good. I'm not even a massive Radiohead fan (any more), but blooming heck that's annoying. What Radiohead song are they possibly getting off to? There is literally no Radiohead song that is fit for this purpose, apart from maybe their cover of Nobody Does It Better that wasn't even released officially, so it seems massively unlikely it was that. And even then Thom Yorke's voice would still put you off, wouldn't it?

See, I've gone all ranty. What an amazing lyric.

Anyway I decided to put another Radiohead reference in the spoken word section, just for a giggle. And there's a Muse reference as well, I changed the reprehensible "I'm no longer your muse" to the merely stupid "You no longer like Muse". I'm pleased to say I have never liked Muse, apart from Plug-In Baby sometimes maybe. Maybe I'll cover a Muse song next (I definitely won't).

ENJOY.